On this day, in 1924, Ellen Jane Stewart was born, the last of four children of Frederick and Margaret Stewart
Her father , a successful businessman and Poor Law Guardian, died when she was just seven.
She married James Sefton in March 1949 and I arrived five days before Christmas the same year.
Ellen had a playful sense of humour, often embarrassing me as a teenager. She worked most of her adult life and for some years she was a model for a clothing company. “ I model summer frocks in December and furs in June”.
Her joie de vivre encompassed all humanity particularly gays and Jews and when she finally reached New York, her joy was unbounded.
I never heard her utter a bad word about anyone , her disapproval was couched as “that’s not a nice thing”.
Despite no formal education beyond the age of fourteen, she was determined that her children should succeed. Today she would be called an “aspirational parent”. She encouraged me to read out loud from an early age and bought me innumerable books. A bit of a slow starter , I think I finally repaid that investment.
Looking at today’s ‘helicopter parents’ I’m amazed at how she was unfazed by my playing rugby, even coming to watch a final. She did insist on a scrum cap, though.
I asked my cousin , Valerie, who adored her, to provide some thoughts, here is what she said:
“Today on the anniversary of her birthday, I would like to share some of my memories of my beautiful Aunt, Ellen Jane Stewart Sefton.
One of my earliest memories and an example of her generosity is in 1946 while we were still using coupon books after the War, we stopped at a drapery shop and Ellen handed over her coupon book for the salesperson to cut out some coupons so I could, at age 6, have ribbons for my hair.
When I think of our time together, I remember playing dress up in her bedroom when I was about 10 years old. Ellen was a Model and had beautiful clothes and I particularly liked her high heel shoes. I would ask “will you keep all your shoes for me for when I grow up”. I would “clatter” about the house wearing her shoes many sizes too big.
My Cousin often refers to his Mother’s playful sense of humour. How true that is. I remember when I was about 15 years old at her house and the Radio was on. An announcement from the radio said that a Naval Fleet was in Port. Ellen clapped her hands and said “Fleets in lets go get a Sailor”. I thought this was a brilliant idea only to find out she was just having fun with me.
During her modelling career Ellen had many offers of dates, she would tell us about the offers but she always said she did not want to be involved with men she worked with. I only remember two men in her life. One was an RAF Officer the son of a neighbour. The second was the man she married and the love of her life.
I remember every August, Ellen and Grandmother rented a house in Bangor for the month, of course I got to go with them. They rented the same house every year. The rental was across the street from the Tonic Cinema and we would go and see a film every week. Ellen would say we are only going if the film is “all singing all dancing and all Technicolour”. None of the kitchen sink dramas that came out after the War for her
.
Summer nights in Ellen’s back garden. She would make a cake before joining Grandmother and me in the garden. We would come back into the house at about 8pm and eat the cake while it was still hot, putting butter on it and drinking lots of tea. Ellen called the cake “my world famous boiled cake”. I wish I had the recipe for that cake as it would be a further reminder of her.
One of my school friends lived on a Farm and Ellen and I were invited every April to pick Lilacs which they grew at the Farm. We would bring arms full of them back to the house and fill every vase. The smell of Lilacs wafted all over the house.
I moved to New York in February 1979 and in May of the same year Ellen came to visit. She loved New York and its people we met on our travels every day during her visit.
I took her to visit the posh Hamptons on Eastern Long Island where a great number of actors had homes. Ellen, tall, slim and blonde, turned heads as we walked down the streets of Southampton and Sag Harbor.
Before Ellen left New York for home, she bought several trees for me. It was like old times planting together. She said “I hope they do well and I look forward to seeing them on my next visit”. .Every tree she planted thrived, but sadly she was never to return to see them.
I came back to Belfast for the Funeral and stopped by a Florist to buy flowers for her casket. I asked for Lilacs because I knew she would like that. The Florist reminded me that Lilacs are at their best in April and May and are mostly gone by June. I thought, the Lilacs are gone in June and so is she.
I miss my beautiful Aunt, She had a great capacity for love. She loved her husband, she loved her two children, she loved her Mother and she loved me, for which I will be forever grateful.”
Valerie Stewart Torrens
Atlanta, Georgia
March 11, 2024
” The one who plants trees, knowing that she will never sit in their shade, understands the meaning of life” Anon

Ellen, in later years , was devoted to her mother, who died , aged 92 in 1986.
After that, she and my father had a brief few years together, holidaying improving their home and enjoying their grandchildren , until her death on 7th June 1990. She had faith, her minister described her as a “straight up and down Church of Ireland worshipper”.
Her sixty six years were blameless and filled with joy.
A devoted daughter, wife , mother, grandmother and aunt, the love she left behind shines on today.
An inextinguishable flame.
