Victims’ campaigner and non sectarian astronaut , Willie Frazer has revealed that he is planning to go to the moon.
Speaking from the Markethill Cosmodrome, Frazer , who previously travelled as far as North Derry, said that it was time to introduce religious balance into space exploration.
“It is striking that most astronauts have been either Catholics or communists. It’s time that the voice of the Loyalist people was heard on the moon.”
Frazer has been in rigorous training for this attempt since July.
“I have been simulating weightlessness by carry a Lambeg drum around the garden for an hour every evening”, he revealed.
Frazer is angry at the planting of flags on the moon. “the moon should be a shared space, like my museum in Markethill”, he said; “it is wrong that some flags fly there and not others”.
He is also angry at the one-sided portrayal of space exploration. “why was there a film about the thirteenth Apollo? What was wrong with the Twelfth?”
Asked how the moonshot was funded, Frazer was vague. “there is sufficient slack in the community funding programs for us to carry out R and D”, he said.
Our reporter put it to him that this might be seen as another in a long line of broken promises, such as suing Martin McGuinness, Slab Murphy and various councils. Also his promises to go to Libya, Dublin, and any park named after a republican.
We understand that only Frazer will set foot on the moon. He will plant an Ulster Fleg and leave a collarette, establishing LOL Lunar 1.
Pastor Barrie Halliday will be in orbit around the moon in the earth module, named Mountjoy.
“We are deadly serious about this” , said Frazer, “there have been too many thramps, scumbags and monkeys in space. The time has come for a Loyalist Spaceman”.