Palmgate

As told to our reporter by “CSI5”.

“Well it was like any other morning in the fingerprint branch. I had done a couple of TADAs and three burglaries. So, like, it’s break time and I’m in the canteen, having a bacon bap and a mug of tea. I was reading the Sun, just for the sport, you know. Anyway , somebody threw the News Letter on the table and I saw the word ‘Kingsmill’. My dad used to be a bread server with Barney Hughes and I just thought it was an ad for bread. I like bread, so I looked more closely. It turns out it’s all about a massacre that took place in the seventies, before I was born. That’s probably why I knew nothing about it and had never, ever heard of it, even in the last six months. So I got to thinking, what if I could help? How could I help? Maybe there’s  a palm print un-identified since 1976, happens all the time.

So I said ‘Boss, any chance I could do the Kingsmill?’ He laughed. ‘You bored?’ he said.  ‘Go on then’ So fortunately, even though it hasn’t been investigated in yonks, I was able to find the file very quickly and there was indeed an unidentified palm print. My hands were trembling as I put it through the system. Within minutes I had matched it to a set of famous republican dabs.

I said ‘Boss, look at this’. Two of my mates confirmed it.

Now I’m the talk of the department, the Boy Wonder of prints!

I’ve had requests for help from the Lucan investigation and from the Kennedys. I thought that bakery had gone out of business.

Funny old [forensic] world.”

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